Ten ways writers can waste time on the internet

.. while fooling yourself into thinking you’re being productive.

Hide in phone


but instead of a kid, do it yourself and send it out when you’ve hit rock bottom – when friends phone back in a panic tell them the only way to set you free is to buy a copy of your recently released ebook. Don’t forget the amazon link.

Life stalking on Pinterest
The glossy pictures, the shiny teeth, the worn floorboards.. I worry about how much I want those floorboards.. And that chair, I must have that chair.. How can I write without it?

Research.. think you know the basics? Still, you don’t want a comma to come between you and your inevitable greatness

Depress yourself by checking out how good everyone else is

Feel smug at how bad everyone else is

Slushpile Hell

Find out where you sit in the pantheon of genius..

I write like

testing it by scanning in the yellow pages and seeing if Joyce comes up.

Find out who the hell Palahniuk is .. and then just admire Pitts abs..

Search for inspiration

Feng Shui your writing space so that success can find you (its like homing beacons to carrier pigeon only they don’t bring disease they bring Booker Prize nominations) You may need to remove a wall or build a fence, but handily you already have a yellow pages to hand.

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