What i would like to say to the internet

Of late I have felt like I have been wading through the bog of eternal stench. Or maybe its the swamp of sadness. Some just call it the internet.


I get it. I do.

You are A. GOOD. PERSON. You’ve memorised that quote that someone sent you once in a cat meme (you know the one with the rotten Jerry torturing poor Tom) ‘all that evil needs to flourish is that good men do nothing..’ well,  first you fixed that..good men people.. then you took up your flaming Sword of Truth and now make no mistake biatch, you are prepared to yield it..

You know, from here..


Your indignance is righteous..

You’re practically a super hero, though you’d never say it yourself


You’re a defender of the weak, upholder of the grammar, (it’s about standards..), slayer of trolls, you’re a signed up 100% prepared to tweet, member of the FUCK YOU I’M A LIBERAL society.

You’ve seen the dark underbelly, the sweaty crotch of humanity and are prepared to expose it to the light..


Far be it for me to intrude on your delusions – um.. d..d….mission, but is it possible in your delusion – um…d..d..enthusiasm that you..


Have you considered that maybe they know the difference between ‘then’ and ‘than’, that no they don’t have a strange addiction to the letter ‘u’ (unless not being American is now a recognised mental disorder), that ‘how sweet’ is actually not the first thing an author thinks when you kindly return their work with all mistakes underlined in red.


DISCLAIMER: this banana may not taste exactly the same as the last banana you ate..

DISCLAIMER: writing disclaimers for everything is not reducing the unemployment statistics

DISCLAIMER: writing this sent me fucking crazy you pedantic, semantic, mamma loving, basement dwelling, train spotting C***! I’m sorry for not using your full name, but don’t worry, I will find it…


I get it. I do.

You care, you link, you think.. and what you think is all that needs to be considered right?

You have a social conscience, you have a right to be heard. You stand for free speech. Someone has to.


Maybe seven billion can’t all be Spartacus. Maybe the dickhead who is quite funny was trying to be quite funny and thinks that you’re a dickhead and maybe we already knew bananas come in different sizes..

Maybe life will always be lived with prejudice because we aren’t


Maybe if you are honest you might be picking the wrong fight for the wrong reasons..


Maybe we’re all doing the best we can with what we have.

Its not easy figuring out where harm is intended and ire appropriate, choosing between walking on eggshells or sitting with a fence pole up your bum. That’s still not an excuse


So before you accidentally stick the big green hero, try walking in their shoes. You never know where they might take you..


The internet can be an amazing place but you have to seek out the light just as you seek out the dark. And you can still be


There will always be a need for  those willing to shine a light.

Yours in eternal hope,

Just another Human Being


3 thoughts on “What i would like to say to the internet


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